Below the waist issues

When "We" started having children we agreed that I would handle the below the waist issues for any girls and he would handle any below the waist issues with any boys. We have one girl and two boys and for the most part I have had to handle almost all of the below the waist issues! "We" agreed and "We" are not following through! I had to take my son in to the doctors office when he had a tick below the waist, and I squirmed as much as my son did. My husband thought it was funny. I have handled all the girl issues in the house, even for the dog! I now need help, my daughter has left to go to college and the boys have the hall bath all to themselves, it is DISGUSTING! I don't think they even try to aim! I don't go in there except to check when we have company coming. I will walk the extra 15 feet, in order not to have to sit on that seat. You should not have to hover in your own home! I have now caught the boys in my bathroom when they need to sit, which means that they don't want to sit on that seat either. I am thinking of installing an outhouse and banning them to it. I wonder what the neighbors would think, we don't live in town. I shouldn't have to potty train people over 3 years old. I know a Mothers work is never done, but a Father should have to do somethings.

I know where gray hair comes from!

There is a scientific reason for gray hair, but I think I have discovered the real reason that hair turns gray! Every time you have to tell someone (like the kids) something more than once to get them to act, a hair turns gray. I have not told someone to do something just once in years and it is showing on my head. This theory is not for just the hair on your head, I think you know what I mean. Answering the same question or having to give the same directions can give you gray hair in other places too! At this point in my life my patience is starting to go, along with my memory. My family is already starting to give me a hard time about telling the same stories over and over, I tell them that since I have to ask them over and over to do anything that I just assume that they won't remember the stories either. The kids are not hard of hearing, I have had them checked. My hubby won't go get checked, so I ask - tell - yell the same things over and over and my hair just gets grayer. I have told them this theory and they laugh, then they ignore me to see if I am right. So when I am 40 and totally silver, the world will know why! Clean your room, clean your room, clean your room. Pick up your socks, pick up your socks, pick up your socks. Yes, I like this - Yes, I like this - Yes, I like this.
Going Gray,

Political Phone Calls

I live in the state of Missouri, and we have several hot topics on our ballot this coming election. I swear that the polling groups have a camera in my bathroom. For the last week and a half every time I get really involved on the toilet the phone rings. I work from home, so I have to answer the phone. When it is a call that ends in money, I don't mind, but these political calls are killing me. I am now in the habit of taking the cordless with me. I feel violated! I want my quiet thinking time back! When I am that kind of busy, I can't make a decision on who or what I will vote for. It does not seem to matter that I am on the no call list, or what time I am in the bathroom. It is bad enough that my evening news is just one long political commercial, but give me a break!
One Undecided Voter